i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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