I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
what day is it and did you see me today?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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