I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
