Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
