Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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