At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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