The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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