i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
