i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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