Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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