i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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