so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
