shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
