I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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