If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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