I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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