Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
