I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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