You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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