During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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