Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
