Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
