Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
