Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
only you would photoshop your dick
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
