Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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