he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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