I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
