You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
