My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
