positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
