well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
