i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
