Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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