you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
