That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
