To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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