i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
