hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
