I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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