Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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