It's like God shit irony all over that family
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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