The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
