am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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