it wasn't lemon gatorade
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
