am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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