Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
