he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
