windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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