I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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