How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
